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Posts Tagged ‘hospital’

I was watching some news for a bit. I felt like being nauseous, and the news is usually the best way for me to accomplish that.

The last thing I looked at was the story of the disabled man being tied up and beaten in Chicago. One news reporter mentioned that if this case is “raised” to the level of a hate crime, the four attackers could face up to 30 years in prison. Most of you have probably seen the news report but here is a link to what happened.

Chicago beating

As I watched the video, and read the report, I wondered something about hate crimes. Is not “hate” the motivator behind all crimes? People love to jump on the “No Hate” band wagon for their favored group. But is one group any more important then another? Politicians fight and babble over gun control. We can take the gun out of someone’s hand, but until the hate is taken out of the man’s heart, there will be no change. If not a gun, then some other weapon.

So we as society have decided how much hate constitutes a hate crime. And what if I disagree with the measuring rod? Does that make me a hater? Am I as guilty as the attackers in the video if I don’t agree with someone?

You are by now thinking this post ridiculous. Maybe it is. Just seems to me that it is just fine for me to hate, as long as I hate the same things you do. Just don’t let my hate leave the boundaries set by society.

But wait…what if we lived in a world with no hate, no violence, no crime, etc. Oh wait, that would be called heaven. I’m not there yet, but watching the news often makes me wish I was.

 

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It has been so long since I have logged into my own blog that I could not remember the password. That may be good for the two of you that read this, but I’m not sure yet.

Do I have a good reason for dropping out of life? Or perhaps I should ask is there ever a good reason for dropping out of life. I wish I had a good answer to that question without relying on some old and pat cliché.

The past two years have not been good. Starting with the death of my mom on July 7, 2015, a very good friend on July 18, 2015, my father-in-law on September 5, 2015, my dad on October 9, 2015 and the list continues on like that for two years.

Of course many have told me that I am depressed or wallowing in the depths of despair and need to seek out “professional” help. I do not feel depressed and I am not wallowing anywhere (outside of the occasional times I get my wheelchair stuck in the mud).

What I do feel is reflection. Even now I have a very good friend in New Zealand, from playing on line games, who is only 35 years old, laying in a hospital bed, and feels like giving up. I also have another very good friend in NYC that is scheduled for back surgery on Tuesday for spinal stenosis. So this new year is not looking much brighter then the last two years.

It is very easy to ask why…but we all know why. What I ask is “Have I done enough?” Have I been there when people need me? Have I offered a smile, held their hand, laughed with them, cried with them. Could I have done more? These are the questions that cause me to reflect as I go into 2017.

My only New Year’s resolution is that I want to be a better person for people when they need me most.

In my book, regret is a much worse feeling then depression.

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Dad, Mom and meIt has been a long time since I have written anything in my blog. In fact, it has been a long time since I have written anything at all. The past year has been busy with our move back to Maine, getting our new home finished, transferring mounds of paperwork for new doctors, residency, taxes and the list goes on.

The most difficult part has been very personal to me. About three years ago, my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She rapidly changed from someone that was going to take care of dad with his dementia, to someone that can no longer feed herself without prompting. For the past year dad has done his best to keep his wife of 55 years at home. He is 82 years old and was quite literally killing himself to be there for mom 24/7.

Family was helping as much as possible, but the Parkinson’s and related dementia got to the point of my parents not longer being safe at home. On April 28, 2015, mom was checked into a Geriatric Psychiatry Ward at a nearby hospital. She was in a constant state of fear, panic and anxiety attacks, unable to walk on her own, falling, and the list goes on. All of this became something that medications did not help and family could not deal with.

Her Parkinson’s and Lewy Body Dementia had completely taken over my mother. There is so much more that could be said, but the simplest way of putting it is a cloak of darkness has fallen over her, and mom is no longer there.

I wrote something very short to possibly let readers see into her world for just a fraction of a second.

Hi mom, it’s Rick.

…..

Mom, it’s Ricky.

…..Oh, hi Arnold….

No mom, I’m Rick.

     Alphy, Could you take my foot out of the basement?

How are you feeling today mom?

….My blanket needs to be fixed….it won’t hold my….the table there is cold

     Ariel is coming?

Not today mom, but dad is sitting right beside of you.

Hi Joan…how are you feeling?

….My father said something

Not your father mom, my father. Your husband Charlie.

HELP!! DON’T LET ME FALL!!

It’s okay mom, you are safe in your chair, you won’t fall.

….Louis died

Louis who mom?

     When is the funeral…was in the papers

Who do you mean mom?

     LOUIS!

What did you have for lunch today mom?

     Ice cream, mashed potatoes….

That sounds good.

….Arnold, I need go bathroom….

I’ll get a nurse mom, be right back.

Joan, it’s Charlie, remember me?

….Louis died

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This blog is very different from my usual posts about the daily aspects of living with a disability. I will be back on topic starting Saturday. I will be taking all of you along with me on a Mediterranean cruise! So consider this post a narrative interlude between living at home with a disability, and traveling with a disability.

But in the meantime, I’m sure that many of you do not know that I have recently had a book published. The name of the book is “Better to Be Broken.” Not only is it a journaling of my injury and the journey that has brought me to where I am now, it is also a very transparent look at Rick Huntress as a man. Yes my body is now broken, but there is also a spiritual brokenness that my book talks about. Both are important and both are good. You did not read that wrong. I said “both” are good.

So if I have piqued your curiosity at all, now is your golden opportunity to get a copy of “Better to Be Broken.”

Starting tomorrow, October 2nd, The Kindle Select edition of my book “Better to Be Broken” will be completely FREE for two days only. http://www.amazon.com/Better-to-Be-Broken-ebook/dp/B009C048Y8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1349122659&sr=8-2&keywords=rick+huntress

October 2-3 you will be able to download onto your Kindle my book. “But I don’t have a Kindle” you are saying. That is simple to correct–you can download the Kindle App for free also on your Android phone or tablet, iPad, iPhone, PC, Mac, Blackberry or Windows phone 7. Get your free app here http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

So if you, or someone you know, could use some encouragement and hope in life, now is your chance to find that hope in my book “Better to Be Broken for absolutely FREE!

But remember only for the next two days, October 2 and October 3.

So don’t miss out–download your free copy today!

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